Candy Cat was born in 2001, and was killed by Leah LED in 2016 via drowning. Candy's first appearance on the show was in 2005.

Peppa Pig: Get rekt! Gimme gimme cheese, gimme gimme cheese, gimme gimme cheese!

Mummy Pig: You need to go to playgroup and learn!


[cuts to Peppa at playgroup]


Madame Gazelle: We are going to learn about a well-known family! Can you guess who they will be?

Emily Elephant: The Elephant familj? That's Swedish for "family".

Madame Gazelle: No, Emily.

Pedro Pony: The Jackalope family!

Madame Gazelle: Correct! They are an ancient family and have existed since 21 BC! As of 1994, they have so much money that I can't explain the total!

Peppa Pig: I need to go to the bathroom! [goes to the bathroom then enters the toddlers' classroom] Hello, George!

Miss Lion: This classroom is for ages 3-5. Go to Classroom 3, which is for ages 5-8.

Peppa: OK, but I wanted to see George!

Miss Lion: We will be learning about dinosaurs and their different types.

George Pig: Ooh, dinosaurs! I love dinosaurs!

Madame Gazelle: The Jackalopes live in a seven-story manor with a set of gardens out the back. Their house was built in 1877. It became a popular wedding district in 2000. You will now do a sheet of paper which you fill in the blanks with words from the word bank at the bottom! You have fifteen minutes to finish your Jackalope family sh**!

Emily Elephant: Why did you use hädelser? That's Swedish for "profanity".

Madame Gazelle: Because you are annoying motherf#%+ers that I have to teach every day! [spanks the entire class with a screwdriver]

Principal: [on the loudspeaker] Oh! (x10) Come to my office right now!

Madame Gazelle: [shrinking] I can't believe waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Principal: [takes Madame Gazelle to the Peppatown pool] Swim 50 or more laps!

[back at the playgroup]

Principal: You will be looked after by Miss Lion.

Everyone: [enters the toddlers' room]

Miss Lion: We're going to have a PE lesson! Do you have your PE gear?

Madame Gazelle's class: Yes.

Everyone: [changes into their PE gear]

Miss Lion: Gym directions are down the stairs, through the hall, up the stairs, through the hall, and then you are at the gym! [leaves]

[cuts to the class at the Leah Killbird AbDn Centre]

Rebecca Rabbit: [gets electrocuted and dies]

AbDn boy: Ooooooooooo. Tetetetetetetetetete. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Madame Gazelle: [throws glass at the AbDn boy's feet]

AbDn boy: [dies]

Madame Gazelle: These annoying AbDn nonverbal freaks deserve to die.

Tim Tiger: Our students must be killed.

Madame Gazelle: I agree.

Tim Tiger: Holy crap. *steps on glass*

[Meanwhile in hell]

Demon AbDn boy: (biting Michael Jackson) Ooooooooooo. Tetetetetetetetetete. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Satan: Oh hell no. *resurrects the AbDn boy*

[cuts back to the Leah Kilbird AbDn Center]

Mr. Jakbunni: So class tonight for homework is sleep in toxic waste overnight. If you don't do it, I'll spank you with a screwdriver.

Everyone in Mr. Jakbunni's class: Okay, we will.

[The next day everyone in Mr. Jakbunni's class are deformed, rejected, freak show mutants]

Madame Gazelle: Who wants to get shocked first?

[At Daddy Pig's office]

Eirza: I need to hide in this filing cabinet. *pulls open a drawer*

[Daddy Pig walks in]

Eirza: Oh, no! I have to get in! *hides in the drawer and closes the drawer*

[cuts to Mummy Pig just having been parked in the parking lot]

Mummy Pig: Yo bewwwws. I wanna smoke weed and shewwww.

Katy Pery: Did you see Emily Elephant kissing that weird thing on the floor and Candy Cat throwing a building block into the fireplace and Peppa kissing that bike?

Peppa Pig: Doo-dah, doo-dah, doo-dah, doo-dah-day.

Cherie Pig: I'm trying to take a nap! You are a bitch, Madame Gazelle is not a vampire. She's your damn teacher!

Peppa: No need to get all riled up. Go suck a diznik.

Cherie: Watch your language or I'll change your name to Tina!

Peppa: FUCK YOU!

Cherie: That's it! I'm changing your name to Tina! [changes Peppa's name to Tina]

[cuts to Tina sitting on the bunk bed]

Cherie: Tina, this is not your bedroom. [takes Tina into the basement] This is your room! [locks the door]

Tina: Waaaaaaa! [goes to sleep and cries]

[cuts to Tina pounding on the door]

Cherie: Tina, make a salad and bring it into your room.

Tina: I'm locked in, you bitch!

Cherie: I like it better than the hipster bullshit

Peppa Pig: I am going to flush Emily Elephant's ballet costume down the toilet. [giggles]

Mummy Pig: Get out of bed! You're going to be late!

Peppa Pig: Coming!

[cuts to Peppa at the Playgroup]

Madame Gazelle: Good morning, everyone! The boys and tomboys will be doing children's wrestling, and the girls and tomgirls will be doing ballet. Everyone get into the locker rooms!

Pedro Pony: Where do I change?

Madame Gazelle: You have to change in the boys' locker room.

Pedro Pony: OK.

Peppa Pig: Now's my chance! [gets Emily's ballet costume and flushes it down the toilet]

Emily Elephant: Madame Gazelle, I can't find my ballet costume ANYWHERE!

Madame Gazelle: Oh no! Who flushed Emily's costume down the toilet?

All Girls: No! I didn't do it!

Peppa Pig: Nope.

Madame Gazelle: [takes Peppa to the computer lab] Are you sure?

Peppa Pig: Yes.

Madame Gazelle: One hundred percent?

Peppa Pig: One hundred percent.

Madame Gazelle: I am going to check the security cameras.

Peppa Pig: Wait! Actually, I did do it.


Peppa Pig: [crying] I was scared! [goes to Emily] I'm so sorry I flushed your costume down the toilet!

Emily Elephant: Apology unaccepted. WHY THE F**K DID YOU DO THAT?!

Peppa Pig: I wanted to get revenge on you for not inviting me to your tea party.

Emily Elephant: You are such a spoiled brat! You flushed my most prized possession down the toilet just because I didn't invite you to my tea party! There's a reason why I didn't invite you!

Peppa Pig: What's the reason?

Emily Elephant: You whipped me with your daddy's belt when we had a sleepover!

Peppa Pig: I didn't whip you! You whipped me!

Emily Elephant: No, you gave me the sorest whipping ever! I couldn't sit down for a whole month!

Elephant named emily: What the fuck

Peppa: Jane Demny is a rapper who comes from Australia, but is also a Katycat. She is known for making awful songs and having tons of haters, while also having a group of girls that will do anything for her. Her debut single is a parody.

Peppa: Madame Gazelle, I need the toilet.

Madame Gazelle: Okay, Peppa.

Peppa: [goes to the toilet, only to find Suzy, Zoe, Candy, Wendy, the unknown human and Rebecca]

Rebecca: Welcome to my confessional, Peppa. Are there any stresses and worries you need to talk about?

Peppa: No, I just need the toilet. [goes into a toilet cubical]

Rebecca: Very well, then. Are you sure you don't have any stresses and worries?

Peppa: Well, here's one. I don't like the snobbery of Emily Elephant, Lisa Fox, Brianna Bear and the rest of her clique. Can you do something to them?

Rebecca: Of course!

Peppa: *gets out of her cubical, washes her hands and goes back to the main part of the playgroup*

Madame Gazelle: Where are Rebecca, Zoe, Candy, Wendy and a few other kids?

Peppa: Oh, Rebecca set up a confessional in the girls' washroom where her friends come to talk about their stresses and worries.

Madame Gazelle: Very good! That's just what this playgroup needs!

Candy: Except for one thing. It's in the toilet and that means germs!

Peppa: Madame Gazelle's not going to listen to a slut like you!

Madame Gazelle: Excuse me, Peppa, but we do not use that language here!

Peppa: Oh. Anyway, kids, playtime! [rings bell]

[The kids go outside and some of them cough and sneeze]

Suzy: Oh! That sounds sick to me! I'll tell Madame Gazelle! [goes to Madame Gazelle] Madame Gazelle, everyone's sick! Look!

Madame Gazelle: Oh, no! I wonder how it happened!

Suzy: Maybe it was Rebecca's confessional!

Madame Gazelle: Oh, yes. I'll tell Rebecca. [goes outside] Rebecca, I'm sorry, but you'll have to relocate your confessional!

Rebecca: But there's nowhere to relocate it! Hey, remember that room you built for the toddlers but demolished it? [flashback to The Toddlers' Room]

Madame Gazelle: Yes. I'm sorry, Rebecca, but I can't afford to build a new one.

Rebecca: Maybe I should create something myself and let my friends tell me what to add.

Peppa: Well, you should make it near some muddy puddles.

Pedro: And please put some drawing paper in there in case the visitors feel bored!

Danny: And give it a groovy feel!

Rebecca: Okay! And how about I make it somewhere in the main part of the playgroup?

Madame Gazelle: Excellent idea!


[Everyone vomits all over each other]

[In another universe]


Sooty Sleep: [blows up Poppy and launches her into the air] I THREW UP AGAIN MY MOM THREW UP EVERYWHERE

[Camera zooms out, giving an aerial view of the Poppyverse]

Poppy Pog: *standing on a large rock* WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Poppy Pog is blown up into space and out of the Poppyverse]

[Poppy Pog falls into the Pippaverse]

Pippa pork: What the heck was that?

[Pippa sees Poppy Pog crash through the roof and on top of Girge]

Pippa pork: Girge, are you alright?

Girge pork: I'm alright, Pippa.


Putin pork: Muma, you look beautiful!

Muma: Putin, that was very kind of you.

[Putin pork twirls Muma pork]

Putin pork: We have to hurry up now, Muma.

[Putin pork and Muma pork leave and Tear pork comes inside]

Tear pork: Let's have s-

[Pippa, Girge and Poppy get launched into space]

Pippa: This isn't good.

[Pippa sees the Pieverse]

[Pippa, Girge and Poppy crash into the Pie family's house]

Peppa Pie: What was that, Mummy?

Mummy Pie: I don't know, Peppa.


Pippa and Poppy: We're not an asteroid.

[Pippa and Poppy fall on top of George Pie]

[Peppa Pie links her arms to Pippa and Poppy and while George Pie clings on at the last moment before it goes back into space]

Everyone standing on the rock: Be prepared!

[Poppy, Pippa, Peppa Pie and George Pie are blown into space and they see Sodor and they fall into the elepig house]

Peppa elepig: what happend mummy

[Poppy, Pippa, Girge, Peppa Pie, and George Pie land]

Poppy Pog, Pippa pork and Peppa Pie: We landed.

Peppa elepig: Can I come with you? *clings onto the large rock*

George elepig: *clings onto the large rock* I'll come with you.

[Poppy, Pippa, Peppa Pie, George Pie, Peppa elepig, George elepig land]

Papi pock: Wow what is that.

M@c+C00l: I dunno? I created the series Papi pock years ago and now it's over. I'm broke with no house but a limo.

Egroj: *clings onto a large rock* M@c r u comming?

M@c+C00l: Yes. *goes on a large rock*

Papi pock: Yes yes *goes on the larger rock*

[At Peppa's house]


Mummy Pig: Make me some salsa, motherfucker. I don't give two shits because you know I'm all about that bass, bout that bass, no treble.

[Peppa wakes up]

Peppa: I'm going to steal the magic key from the museum!

[cuts to Peppa hanging from a wire]

Peppa: it!

Suzy Sheep: Are you sure? Stealing is wrong.

Peppa: I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR WOOL OFF, SUZY! *unseaths knife*

Suzy Sheep: Put that knife away...

Peppa: *rips Suzy's wool off* That solves the problem.

[Peppa sees the secret key]

Peppa: *reels it up* Now I have the key to the Pippaverse!

Pedro Pony: *reels up Peppa's wire* Stealing is wrong.

Peppa: *rips Pedro* SHUT UP! Now, I need to find a keyhole in a stone wall. Now, where would a stone wall be?

Suzy: Peppa, it would be in that island jungle.

Danny Dog: OMG, Suzy! You look creepy with no wool!

Narrator: Peppa goes to the dock. She steals a rowboat.

Peppa: Now i'll know who inspired Pippa pork

Danny Dog: Da counterpart of a cr@- king

Peppa: You c#%*$¥ b****! *puts the key in*

[They are sucked into the Pippaverse]

[cuts to Katelynn Pig]

Katelynn Pig: Mummy Pig, there's soot everywhere!

Lady Gaga: Mummy Pig isn't here. Can't read my, can't read my, no, he can't read my poker f♠️ce

Peppa: Let's see what's on TV.

[on TV]

Mr. Potato: And here is OMGlenda!

OMGlenda: I am going to sing the alphabet. [singing] A is for apple, B is for book, C is for cat, D is for dog, E is for elephant, F is for food, G is for gear, H is for heart, I is for island, J is for job, K is for kids, L is for love, M is for movies, N is for—

Mr. Potato: N is for NEXT!

Peppa: I'm feeling flirty! [dances around her bedroom]

[The audio switches to Spanish and Japanese]

George: Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh! ¿Cómo se atreven a sentirse coqueta! Eso es. Estas castigado. [throws Mr. Dinosaur at Peppa]

Peppa: [smacks George] George-senpai, 大嫌い![takes her MP3 player out and dances to Paparazzi]


[cuts to Peppa at the playgroup]

[The audio switches back to English]

Madame Gazelle: Today, we are exploring number stories of ten. Peppa, tell us an addition story and a subtraction story.

Peppa: Fifteen takeaway five equals ten, four plus six equals ten. [kisses Pedro Pony]

[cuts to Peppa at home finishing salad]

[The audio switches to Swedish]

Peppa: George, kom och få det! [runs up to her room, jumps out the window, vomits rainbows, then flies into Pedro Pony's bedroom and flirts with him] Få en flirt på! [kisses Pedro] Puss, puss.

Pedro Pony: Lovar du att du kommer att gifta dig med mig?

Peppa: Självklart! Vill du ha en piggyback ride?

Pedro: Självklart! Led vägen! [climbs on Peppa's back]

Peppa: Vi kommer att Emily's herrgård och vi kommer att flirta i hennes sovrum eftersom hon är på lekplatsen.

Pedro: Det låter som en plan!

[They fly to Emily's manor]

Peppa: Puss, puss!

Emily Elephant: [walks in] Är du flirta?

Pedro: [carries Emily to the balcony and sits her on the barrier]

Emily: Vad gör du? Mamma!

Pedro: [growls]

Emily: Sluta! Sluta! Sluta!

Pedro: Jäkla fitta! [throws Emily off the balcony]

Emily: Aj! Mamma! Pappa! Kom hit!

Dr. Elephant: [carries Pedro and Peppa and sits them on the railing] Kasta aldrig min dotter utanför balkongen igen! Som straff, jag kasta dig två utanför balkongen! [throws Peppa and Pedro off the balcony]

Peppa: Det var ett dåligt val, Pedro.

[The audio switches back to English]

Pedro: I agree.

[cuts to Peppa waking up]

Mummy Pig: Peppa! Get out of bed!

[The audio switches to Chinese]

Peppa: 為什麼?我不想。

Mummy Pig: 我不給他媽的。

Peppa: 不要對我發誓!

Mummy Pig: 我是一個成年人,你混蛋!

Peppa: [cries]

Mummy Pig: 哭了你想要的,婊子。

[The audio switches back to English]

Peppa: I hate you! [leaves and slams the door]

Mummy Pig: That's fine.

[1 hour later]

Peppa: You haven't made me breakfast.

Mummy Pig: [laughs] You make it.

Peppa: I can't make my own breakfast!

Mummy Pig: Make a salad. You can make salad.

Peppa: I'm not in the mood for salad. Can you make me pancakes?


Peppa: But-

Mummy Pig: No buts.

Daddy Pig: Time to make my beautiful daughter Peppa some pancakes!

Mummy Pig: [whispering] Don't make Peppa anything. She can make her own breakfast.

Daddy Pig: Amanda, Peppa can only make salad, baby food and salsa. Please don't abuse Peppa, playgroup was cancelled because of the heavy rainstorm last night.

George: Mami Cerdo, te amor.

[Veena Rabbit enters]

Veena Rabbit: Я после долгого сдвига.

George: Como té llamas?

Veena Rabbit: Veena Кролик. Почему бы вам не смотреть Маша и Медведь?

George: ¿Qué carajo es Masha y el oso?

Veena Rabbit: Маша и Медведь это шоу для маленьких детей, как вы.

George: No me importa!

[cuts to Peppa at the playgroup playing a tambourine]

Peppa: Can me and Fred do Paparazzi?

Madame Gazelle: Okei! PAPA PAPARAZZI

Fred: I and peppa piss all over ya entire fuckin life

Madame Gazelle: Niin, hän rakastaa tätä rasvaa persettä, hahaha! Joo! Tämä on minun narttini kanssa rasvaa persettä vitun leikkialue! Sanoin, missä minun rasvaa ass iso nartut playgroup ?! Nauraa laiha nartut! Vittu leikkisä nartut leikkiryhmässä! Haluan nähdä kaikki suuret rasva-ansaan nartut äitirotuisissa leikkiryhmässä! Vittu, jos olet laiha narttu, mitä ?! Kyuh! Haha, haha! Sain iso rasvaa perseestä (ass, ass, ass)! Älä viitsi!